Summer holidays with a more carefree 90s attitude Cat Hufton shares her experience.

I'm a mum of two boys who turn five and eight next month, and I'll confess that this feels like a really challenging part of parenting.

I thrived in their baby days and loved going to endless baby classes, activities and play dates while keeping my freelance writing business afloat on the side. I felt like I was made for this — the multi-tasking, the socialising, and the busyness.

But primary school and everything that goes with it has caught me by surprise. Amongst the endless things to remember — from selling raffle tickets, to paying for school trips, homework and managing a reception-aged child that struggles with school — I've felt completely burnt out over the past few months.

All I keep thinking is, wasn't this supposed to be the easy bit? No more expensive nursery fees, and five days a week of guaranteed childcare? A chance to breathe out a bit? It doesn't feel like that at all. It feels harder than ever.

The reality is that my children often find school quite hard. Expectations are high, and their school has lots of events, trips, and social occasions. While it feels rich, sociable and community driven, it's no surprise that sometimes we often feel quite tired. This year has flown by because it has just been so incredibly busy.

All I keep thinking is, wasn't this supposed to be the easy bit?

It's why I've decided that for the six week break this summer I'm going to take my foot off the parenting accelerator for a bit. My children need it and so do I. Of course, like the majority of other parents, I'll still need to work so they're booked in a few days over the break at a local kids club. But on those days that they're home with me, I'll be adopting a more relaxed 1990s way of parenting where expectations aren't quite so high.

I remember lots of Friday nights in my childhood where my parents would meet up with friends at the local pub. As children weren't allowed inside in those days, we'd be outside in the play area with a kiosk to order drinks and snacks from. We loved it and would be out there until it got dark. Our parents got time to relax and have proper adult conversations and we had the time of our lives outside. There wasn't a screen in sight.

By contrast, I can't help but feel that children are very overly scheduled these days. Parenting has, in some ways, become performative, competitive and perfectionist driven. We've all become so hyper focussed on being a good parent that we forgot that children are also excellent at making up their own fun, if we just give them the space and freedom to do it.

I remember having lots of time to play as a child — in the garden or in my room with a friend or two. I loved anything that required imagination and role play, or just going on an adventure in the local woods. While we did go to summer camps when my parents worked, when we were at home, our time was more relaxed. That's exactly what I want to give my kids this summer.

How nice is it for everyone to wake up without an alarm, come down and eat their breakfast in their own time, and know the day is their own? I don't feel like we get many days like that anymore.

The temptation can often be to plan big, expensive days out that require lots of travel, stress and organisation. But actually how nice is it for everyone to wake up without an alarm, come down and eat their breakfast in their own time, and know the day is their own? I don't feel like we get many days like that anymore.

I want to take the pressure off not just myself but my boys too. Time where they don't have to perform, achieve, or be somewhere at a certain time. Time for them to spend a whole morning in their pajamas making a Lego creation, or bouncing on the trampoline before eating endless amounts of watermelon, dying their skin red in the process.

I loved days like this as a kid. They made every day feel like I was on holiday, even though I was just at home. The juggle of work, kids and managing a home is hard enough already without us trying to create a picture-perfect summer.

So what if the house isn't as tidy as usual, or the kids haven't done a smidge of educational tasks in weeks. Rest, as we're continually told as adults, is just as important as all of the other stuff. Sometimes just taking a step back and not trying to do quite so much is exactly what we all need.